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| Funds raised by PEARR go to Women In Distress of Broward County, Inc., the only state certified, nationally accredited, full-service domestic violence center in the county. Women In Distress provides victims of domestic abuse with a 24-hour hotline, shelter, counseling, and educational programs. |
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
In her most recent novel, Nineteen Minutes, author Jodi Picoult writes about a fictitious high school shooting. In the wake of the Virginia Tech Massacre, the subject matter seemed especially disconcerting. Without giving too much away to those who might still want to read it, the shooter is a 17 year old boy who has been tortured, tormented, and bullied since his first day of Kindergarten. He has endured this almost unimaginable cruelty at the hands of the “popular crowd,” who admittedly committed these acts so as to secure their own status. After all, survival of the fittest only applies when there are degradations of strength.Ultimately, the hunted becomes the hunter and the popular crowd falls prey to this “loser,” armed with an arsenal of guns and a lifetime of misery. The book flip-flops between past and present to illustrate both how cruel these victims had been to the shooter and how horrific the shooting and its aftermath continue to be. Part of the aftermath includes the trial of the shooter and the events leading up to it. Ultimately, his defense, at first portrayed as something of a stretch, is akin to that employed by a battered wife who stabs her abusive husband in his sleep. Although not an immediate threat to her well-being, the idea is that after years of abuse, she now perceives him as a constant threat and was acting in a sort of self defense.
If post-traumatic stress disorder is a defense for a battered woman who fights back, then maybe there is some merit to applying this theory to the bullied shooter in this novel. Even though it’s not a justification, maybe it’s an explanation. Obviously, even the most horrific bullies don’t deserve to get massacred, but yet can we say the same thing about those incessant battering boyfriends and husbands?
While the author makes the shooting analogous to battered spouse syndrome, one of the other characters – a popular girl who survived - is experiencing dating violence at the hands of her boyfriend – a popular boy who didn’t survive. Of course, it isn’t labeled violence, because the girl loves her boyfriend and is seemingly grief-stricken upon his murder. But descriptions of their relationship, while full of affection and envious glances from friends, are laced with controlling actions and bruises. As they are still children, the underlying question remains, could or should the school have known…about the shooter, about the bullies in all of their incantations? Should their parents have known? How about this girl’s mother, an independent, highly educated woman…shouldn’t she have known?
Are there not resources available to stop something before it becomes so horrific? Among school age children, as in this book, the bullies and the batterers may be one and the same. They are securing their status on the playground and within their relationships. It’s sometimes inconceivable how these “bad guys” can just as easily switch roles when their “victims” decide to regain some kind of control. At what point do we sanction the behavior to regain control? Maybe it is the role of the parents and teachers to do something, but what about after?
The batterer and their victims are then all grown up and living next door. What resources are available to that victim? Social workers? Police? Prosecutors? These people are willing to fight. You can see that much on Law and Order. But what happens when the victim doesn’t want to go forward, screaming at the prosecutor that she loves her batterer and no one can make her do what she doesn’t want to do (except of course, her husband)? Is that okay? Would you yell at a crossing guard just because she’s trying to help you get across the street safely? But we understand the cycle of violence and although it may be frustrating, ultimately you cannot help those who don’t want help. So you let it go…and the bad guy does it again and again and again – and then one day, when enough is enough, in his sleep, he ends up with a bullet in his brain…and his wife is left holding the smoking gun.
The wife, the dead bad guy, the police, the prosecutor, the social worker who wanted to help her, his parents, her parents, teachers who saw him bullying in grade school…
Who’s responsible?
6 Comments:
Your writings are incredible. This blog should be published so that more people could see it... Wonderful job... Really makes you aware. Thanks.
iIt is all the parents' fault for not emphasizing the religious component within the family. No matter what your religious orientation is,if you live in observance with it, it would never cross your son's mind to hurt anyone, even if he was being hurt by others. Religion teaches you to turn the other cheek. And that is the solution for ending violence on earth.
sorry, samantha, i disagree. religion is the source of most conflict in this world. you can look back to the american revolution or just glance at today's headlines. tolerance for each other's differences and respect for both human life and each individual's right to his or her own beliefs....those ideals are what parents should teach their children - indeed they may be the solution for ending violence on earth.
....and I thought religion thought us--an eye for an eye.
People like you who misinterpret our religious texts are the ones that should be held responsible for this violent world. Without getting into religious semantics which is not the point here, my opinion is that if we have spiritual leaders that guide us as to how to behave as human beings, there will be no more violence. These mentors will give us role models by which to live our lives and if we all imitate their well intended behaviour, people in general will be more restrained. It's like being in the military. You obey certain rules to comply with respect for others. The only difference here is that what I am talking about has the spiritual component that we as a whole society are lacking.
Samantha.
I can't even begin to decide who's responsible. When you think you have it all figured out by putting individuals into categories based on their upbringing and past history, it all seems so easy.
You become one of the majority who feels that it can't happen to you or someone you know. Think what you want, you are entitled to your opinions.
What we can do is refuse to look the other way and develop apathy to what we witness. When you see a car accident, are you the person who drives by? Are you too busy to call the police, thinking someone else will do it for you?
Do you avoid the eyes of a woman who is being berated and humiliated just because she forgot the cooler for the barbeque?
Do you advise a friend who reaches out to you that it's not that bad....she should try to work it out for her kids? Or do you REALLY listen?
My point is...you can place blame and point fingers forever. But what do YOU do to stop it from happening when you know it exists?
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