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Sunday, January 27, 2008

V-Day

The month of February, upon its arrival, brings about a sudden surge of chocolate, flowers, and hearts. This February, in particular, in addition to celebrating all things Valentine, marks the tenth anniversary of V-day. V-day is an international movement whose mission is to stop violence again women, and its website recites, “V is for Victory, Valentine, and Vagina.”

V-day began with the creation and performance of the “Vagina Monologues,” by Eve Ensler. What started as a local production has turned into a global movement in just a decade. Its message has resonated because, although it certainly highlights the horrors that women continue to suffer, it also serves to empower everyone. Time will only tell whether violence against women will truly ever be eradicated. Yet in the process, this organization has managed to find a common thread among humanity….the desire for self respect and the necessity of safety, safety in one’s body, in one’s community, in one’s world.

This is the second year of PEARR’s existence. We certainly don’t need to reinvent the wheel, but we would like to be a catalyst, a source of motivation, or maybe even just a local outlet for which to weave that common thread. We are still excited about our mission. We would probably be even more excited if there was no need for organizations like Women in Distress or V-day, because as V-Day proclaims in its own mission, the day that women don’t fear violence is a day to rename Valentine’s Day as “Victory Over Violence Day.”

Yet as Superbowl Sunday approaches, anecdotally, we can expect batterers to hit, punch, and berate much more than almost any other night of the year. So our mission continues and we cannot yet call February 14th a day of victory. But for every woman who survives, every child who is safe, and every person who is a little more aware, maybe we will have won another battle.

We share this information about V-day so that we can share with you the great company that we all keep. Please let us know that you still share this mission and let us know your thoughts about PEARR, about the month of February, about this blog. We will gladly keep sharing our thoughts and even our rants so long as we know that our words aren’t falling on deaf ears, so to speak. If nothing else, please just send us a comment to let us know you are with us on the battle lines.

Happy Valentine’s Day

posted by Awareness Grower | 8:58 PM | 0 Comments

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

New Year's Resolution

It's a new year and with the many resolutions that accompany every January, we invite you to add one more to your list. If we can't eradicate domestic violence, at least we can pledge to lessen it. About two weeks ago, the Sun Sentinal published an article about the rising number of female homicides in South Florida,specifically categorized as domestic violence murders. The most upsetting part about the number of victims, as if one murdered woman isn't enough for us to shake our heads in grief and despair, is that those numbers are created from the specific legal definition of "domestic violence." That is, each one of those women either had a child in common with her killer or lived with her killer for six months or more. The women listed in that article, whom we mourn as we vow to never to let happen to another woman, do not include those who lost their lives to estranged husbands or boyfriends, not within the parameters set out above.

Those of you who read this blog or who volunteer for Women in Distress, give time, money, and other resources in the name of domestic violence. Essentially, we are preaching to the choir, speaking to a group of people who know the importance of raising awareness and ending domestic violence. But for all of our work, why are the numbers still so high? Why are women still dying at the hands of those who supposedly "love" them?" What are we doing wrong - or maybe, not doing enough of?Is there no deterrent to the abusers?

Consider that a hit, punch, even a stab, may result in a relative inconvenience to an abuser who may have to attend a few court dates and maybe a few anger management classes. That certainly doesn't teach them any sort of lesson. The abuse just escalates with little accountability until it is front page news and finally, finally the abuser is held in Broward County Jail without a bond..meaning his wife or mother of his child is lying silently in a pine box.

We know the statistics and we know all of the reasons why women who experience domestic violence go back to their abusers. Obviously, it is the abuser's fault each and every time, no matter how much forgiveness is bestowed upon him. It is he who chooses to throw a punch, wield a knife, shoot a gun. So how do we stop him - even in the midst of the cycle of violence. According to the news, our efforts aren't working - or maybe they are, and the numbers would be higher if not for Women in Distress and other similar organizations. Either way, the numbers are still too high. This is the kind of job security that shelters, victim advocates, and law enforcement do not need.

So as part of your New Year's Resolution, what can we all do to lower that awful number in 2008, because so far, it does not seem so good.

posted by Awareness Grower | 10:27 PM | 0 Comments

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Are We Really Growing Awareness?

Our apologies that we did not have a blog entry for the month of October, ironically, Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Now that October has come and gone, we invite you to share your thoughts, observations, and activities for the month. Tell us how you participated in raising awareness.

Women in Distress hosted a series of events including a Candlelight Vigil, in memory of those who lost their lives to domestic violence during this past year. It was a moving ceremony held on the front steps of the Main Library in downtown Fort Lauderdale. Survivors, families of the remembered, law enforcement, prosecutors, victim advocates, and WID volunteers were all in attendance. It was scheduled for 6pm on a predictably humid October evening in the middle of the work week, a seemingly accommodating day and time for the average community member to come and show his or her support.

So then why did it appear that this vigil was one which was already preaching to the choir? To be sure, the vigil was both sad and inspiring, hopeful and heartbreaking – and those in attendance were clearly dedicated to the eradication of domestic violence and all that it entails. But that’s just the point. These participants are committed and have been committed for years. They are aware and enlightened. They know full well that this vigil is a necessary evil of sorts, one whose very existence sadly marks another year of murder and devastating loss.

The question becomes how can we literally expand awareness into the community, so that people who happen to be driving by will stop and listen…so that professionals who work in the nearby office buildings make it their business to walk over to the library for twenty minutes before heading home.

We all work so hard to raise awareness. We want victims to know that it’s okay to walk away. We want abusers to know that it’s not okay to scream, hit, murder. We want everyone to know that domestic violence is not endemic to a specific population, but cuts across race, gender, and socio-economic class. But is it really working? One of our members shared with us the following story. She recently went to visit her family in an affluent neighborhood in the Northeast. Her mother told her that their synagogue recently hired a new director, a thirty-something woman with two young children. Shortly after she began working, the director and her husband went through an acrimonious divorce. Ultimately, the director had to get a restraining order against her estranged husband. Our member told us that her mother expressed that the community was shocked that this was occurring in their collective backyards. This PEARR member/WID volunteer who had shared her involvement in issues involving violence against women with her family for years, was shocked by her mother’s shock. It’s one thing to be upset or even horrified by and for what this woman must endure – but shock? Domestic violence is pervasive. Have we not made that clear enough? Had she not made that clear to her mother after all of these years? Are we doing something wrong?

Ironically, this blog entry itself is just another example of preaching to the choir. Most of you are reading this because you are already committed. So we encourage you to share it with those who may need to be “converted.” By doing so, please share our hope for next year – that there not be a need for a vigil, but if there is, it’s one that says one murder is one too many, with so many voices saying so that we create a traffic jam in downtown Fort Lauderdale.

posted by Awareness Grower | 6:38 PM | 0 Comments